Much to my own disgust, I am a smoker, a vile habit that I picked up at the tender age of twelve. Being an 80's girl, I grew up thinking that smoking was cool and couldn't wait to get my childish lips around that first fag!
I can clearly recall the exact time that I decided to become a smoker. I was aged 9 and had been allowed to stay up during my older sister's birthday party. The girls were watching Grease and I was literally blown away by this John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John collaboration. By the end of the film, when Sandy. D shows up clad head-to-toe in leather, busting out a cigarette, I knew instantly that smoking was my destiny. The thrill that I felt from this change-for-the-better look was overwhelming and thus my craving for smoke had begun.
This pinnacle moment was backed up by the odd non-smoking methods adopted by certain family members. From an age that is way to young to recall, I had developed a fasination for fags. This did not go unnoticed by my French uncle, who suspected that my hanging around so close while he lit up and repeatdly asking to have a go, was a cause for concern. His clever plot was to let me have a go, that way I would be so put off, that I would never want to smoke. Genius! Of course, this completely backfired and from about age seven, whenever I got to see my uncle I would expect to have a burn on his cigarette, an occasion I looked forward to!
So, of course when all the kids in my area started on the cigs, I happily jumped onto the band-wagon! My new smoking life made me feel great. I was cool, grown up and interesting. The fact that cigs tasted disgusting and made me feel nauseous, was unimportant. In case you were wondering how I got my smoking pout to perfection, all it took was a night of camping in the back-garden, a couple of mates, a mirror and a pack of fags…
When you start smoking at a silly age (am sure this applies to any age in fact), you never think of it as an addiction that will stay with you. It is simply a momentary habit. Seventeen years later, and turning thirty this year, it is time to face facts: not only am I an adult smoker (yuck) but also, I have more than likely caused unnecessary damage to my body… Big sigh.
I have toyed with and attempted to give up a number of times:
First attempt: Was taken off guard by the severe rage that I experienced in the first few days of stopping, the extreme feelings encountered had me rushing to the corner shop and grabbing a pack of cigs before any harm was done.
Total time as non-smoker: 6 days
Second attempt: I took up the offers available from the NHS and set myself up on a giving up mission. Armed with a nicorette inhaler and gallons of will power I was ready to battle through the rage and any other hurdles that would stand in my way. With the battle was almost won, I entered my sixth month of non-smoking with a new found confidence. Unfortunately this assurance tricked me into allowing myself a cigarette while having a drink and the rest as they say, is history.
Total time as non-smoker: 6 months
Third attempt: This attempt is barely worth a mention; however, it was an attempt so I will go on. Without any preparation I decided to quit and set the date for three days later, so, with little emotional preparation I picked up a selection of nicorette products and tried to kick the habit. The nicorette patches that I had never tried before seemed to be doing the trick. However, after having misplaced them I suddenly froze and panicked. Only my little ciggie friend could help me.
Total time as a non-smoker: 3 days
There is no time like the present
Yet again, I find myself at a point where I am disgusted by my habits and feel that I need to try and stop… This newfound motivation is thanks to the 400 cigarettes I recently purchased on my return flight from Thailand. These cigarettes are equally vile in taste and packaging!
So strong are these cigs that:
I wake up in the morning with the sensation that I have just had one
My throat, lungs and ears ache
My boyfriend has told me that he can smell the fags on me stronger than usual
My mouth tastes acrid
And if all this wasn’t enough to make you quit, the packaging features the most disturbing images that I have seen to date. These pics have set off my hypochondriac tendencies and I can feel tumours growing and my lungs blackening.
Refusing to buy any not so disgusting cigarettes, I have decided to make the most of the situation and I have bought a copy of Alan Carr’s: Easy way to stop smoking. I am hoping that reading this book and smoking the gross fags until Carr tells me it’s time to quit is going to be the push I need to make it work. I also intend to use patches to lighten the blow.
I will keep you posted on how this works… If you have any positive non-smoking vibes, send them this way!