My gorgeous friend has been having troubles in the love, or rather, love making department. The trouble is that this is a young, intelligent, confident, angel-faced lady with a killer bod. With such a great base of natural attributes, you would think that finding and keeping love would be easy. In fact finding and meeting suitors is not the problem, it's finding a good one worth keeping that has been tricky.
Having recently met a great guy who ticks most of the boxes, my dear-girl has been grinning from ear to ear and much to his horror is blossoming and glowing at a fast rate. They get on great, have loads in common but there is a big elephant (or rather a timid mouse) in the room. The timid mouse I am referring to is hiding away between his legs, terrified to come out. This situation has been causing a great deal of grief and confusion. Causing her to question:
What is wrong with me?
Is he not attracted to me?
As both parties involved are young and still in the late stages of teen-hood, the obvious conclusion that has sprung to my mind is: He is terrified!
This is easy for me to say, but harder for her to swallow. A Complex, frightened man is not going to tell a hot lady that she scares the shit out of him. Instead he will play games and shift the insecurities. To confuse the situation even more, they finally managed to get down and dirty, leading my girl to breathe a premature sigh of relief. Things seemed to be progressing naturally until the fear took hold again and he shrunk (literally) back into himself.
Back to square one
When the developing sex-life took a backwards turn, the relationship started to feel wrong and awkward. Do you remember those uncomfortable nights when you share a bed with someone and you are lying there waiting for them to make a move? When you are about to give up hope, their fingers start to timidly stroke you, gaining force and then suddenly: Nothing! They stop! You know you are dealing with a shy-guy so you don't want to be too forceful or intimidating, throwing you both into a vicious cycle of dissatisfaction. You both fall asleep (in fact he falls asleep first) and you dream of the possibilities that tomorrow night could (might?) bring...
Well this is exactly what my girl has been going through, over the last few weeks. A frustrating situation that is difficult to manage. She doesn't want to make a big deal of it, she doesn't wan to hurt his feelings. But, also she doesn't want to feel foolish in case he actually isn't that into her.
Talk to him
Because she likes this man and wasn't ready to give up she decided to talk to him. After trying to worm his way out of having the conversation. He eventually succumbed. And to nobody’s surprise, confessed that he was scared and didn't feel experienced enough to handle her. Having the truth out there is great but moving forward and helping him get over this fear is now the next obstacle that they will face.
This is as far as I can go with this story as the next part hasn't happened yet. Although I will predict one of the following:
Getting things out in the open will bring them closer together, developing a mutually enjoyable sex-life. That they can hopefully both bring new things to.
His insecurities will taint the relationship and they will keep coming back to the same place. Dissolving the relationship completely.
If this boy were slightly older, I would tell my girl to move on and get a real man. However, they are both at an early age where the levels of sexual experience are bound to differ. He can't be blamed for being intimidated and it is actually sweet that he fancies her so much that he is actually scared!
Here's to hoping that the hidden mouse blossoms into a pouncing tiger... Watch this space!