Dear Anne-franc,
I have a so-called friend who has bullied me over the years about the size of my feet. She keeps telling me that they're massive like a mans and even calls me 'fat foot'. Once she even dragged me round a party demanding I show guests my feet so they could agree with her about how big they were. Although most of them said that they weren't that large I think they were just being polite. I have become so self conscious about my feet that I have started to dread summer and if I have sex with my boyfriend I keep my socks on! Please help me, I feel like a freak.
Anon
Oh dear, this is not good, not good at all. Sounds to me like your friend is one royal cow-bag. I am going to have to take the annoying, patronising, world-famous approach with this one, and tell you that this girl is 100% jel. Maybe, your supposed mate has attractive feet and not much else, so while she points out your apparent downfall she draws attention to her only asset.
I understand that sometimes amongst friends we can make fun of each other, the way that this usually works is as follows:
-I point out my skinny legs and make some joke about it, calling myself little sparrow or something.
-My friends laugh and maybe call me little sparrow.
-It becomes some sort of 'in' joke that Anne has little sparrow legs.
This is all fine, because I have instigated the teasing. However, for a friend to pick on another friends body part and start teasing, is not cool. It is in fact weird. To follow this up by pointing this out to others is just nasty. Oh man I am so not into this b*tch-face... Ugh!
We all know that people only tease and bully because they are insecure. This is obviously the case with this one. What she is making fun of is unimportant. The paramount issue here is that she enjoys making fun and getting others to laugh at you. I think you need to dump this girl or confront her.
Pointless teasing is universal
This problem is all too familiar, when I was at school a friend of mine used to make fun of my lips... All the time. She used to say I had really skinny lips and found the whole thing hilarious. Even though I really liked her, I would dread the lessons when we would sit together as I was scared that she would start getting into it. She would enjoy pointing it out to others too... much to my horror. I ended up being convinced that I had been cursed with vile, miniscule chompers. Haunted by this memory, I would try and draw as little attention to my mouth, lipstick was a definite no-no and even sometimes kissing would send me into a state of panic. Would I put him off with my emaciated numbers? The crazy thing is, I don't even have thin lips, and in fact my bottom lip can more than hold its own. This girls teasing was obvious jealousy, she was hardly a looker and her lips were actually much smaller than my own.
Moving forward... One foot at a time
My dear writer is only anonymous to you guys. I know this lovely girl well and know that her feet are of perfect proportion. She has kindly shared an image if her tootsies, see below:
There is no point in my delving into how to deal with this girl. As revenge equals negative karma, and she is not worth upsetting your karma rating over. I could tell you to find out one (or a list of) her insecurities and laugh and taunt the cow. Or to spread a made up rumour around, such as she has an STI or a pungent vagina. Forget beating or joining, instead let's look into how you are going to get out of your socks and stop your poor feet from sweating in the height of summer and how you are gonna confidently remove every item next time you are getting down.
Dreading getting your feet out and covering them up with socks, is not a way to live. You have to embrace your feet and learn to love them. From looking at the image, I can honestly say that your feet look beautiful to me; your toes are all in proportion. Defo no issues or freakishness going on here. What, you need to do now is learn to love your feet.
Learn to love your feet:
Step one:
Go and get a manicure, dress your toes up in your favourite colour, giving you the desire to show them off. For extra pampering why not whack on some fake tan too?
Step two:
Rub and massage your feet and give them lots of love. Whilst touching them repeat after me: "I love my feet, they are not fat, they are lovely and they are all mine".
Step three:
Pop up on your sandals and go for a walk.
Getting them out there is always the hardest part, but after a walk around the block, your poor little toes will feel great having finally escaped their shameful compound. Free your feet and you will thrive.
This problem is obviously distressing and I am confident that sharing and talking about this will already have you feeling much more confident. Also, with reference to your 'friend' her obvious attempts to humiliate you would only make her look stupid... No one likes a bully.
Sending positive vibes,
Anne-franc
