Girl, Interrupted

How often does a lady approach a group of blokes and ask if they mind if she joins them?

How often does a lady alone in a car drive by a man and whistle or honk?

How often does a lone lady walk past a guy on the street and make a comment like "nice arse"?

The answer to this is: Very rarely. Women may attempt to approach a group of men if they are in a desperate hole, where they are in dire need of attention; to piss off an ex or maybe to score some cash but all in all sane women do not behave in this way.

Alone I very much doubt that a lass would ever holler at a man no matter how gorgeous he may be, a group of drunken females may well shout out obscenities or partake in this unusual behaviour as a joke, but lone rangers? I don't think so. So why is it that our male counterparts behave in this way? Boys, I'm asking you... Why the hell do you do this?? Is it that you are all nuts and unable to keep your words on a leash? Where does this urge to sound your horn at an attractive lady come from? If there is someone in the passenger seat to witness this I would understand a little better, but, to be doing this on your own for only yourself, well, I think this is another fine example of male mystery.

Catching up time!

As you know last week I was in Dublin meeting up with some girlfriends, on our last night together we went out for a delicious meal, which resulted in a food coma, we couldn't manage much more than a very quiet drink so off we went to a hotel bar which was empty and spacious, perfect for spreading out our weary bodies and having a good old gossip. So there we were having a great time, talking our usual girly chat: men, sex, men, sex.... When a lone male approaches us and asks if we mind if he joins us? Ugh! How annoying, not wanting him to join but not wanting to be rude we shrug our shoulders and say "sure". So he joins and our conversation steadily drops at vertical speed, what are three girls that rarely get to see each other meant to say to this alien creature?? How do we muster the energy to release ourselves from our comfortable state of sleepiness and entertain? And why should we??!

With our fun time on standstill, this lone male dominates our time and takes us through the getting to know your phase:

Where are you from?
Why are you here?
How do you know each other?

The thing with this gent is that he is so drunk; he repeats these questions as soon as he has asked them:

Where are you from?
Why are you here?
How do you know each other?
Where are you from?
Why are you here?
How do you know each other?
Where are you from?
Why are you here?
How do you know each other?
Where are you from?
Why are you here?
How do you know each other?

For goodness sake is this really happening? Not only has the end of our evening been interrupted by this creature, but to top it all he is not even vaguely interesting.

To make things even more annoying, he keeps on asking whether we mind him interrupting:

"Do you mind me sitting with you ladies, tell me and I’ll go, honest I don't mind"
"You sees I saw you girls sitting here laughing and cos I'm on me own and all I thought I could join yous"

The fact that we were NOT laughing anymore and he was the only one talking should have suggested that we did not want him here. It is not that me or my ladies are closed to talking to strangers it is just that sometimes girls just want to chat amongst themselves. If we'd have told him from the beginning that we didn't want him to join us it may have saved us having to put up with him but it would have felt mean and that is not fun either!

In the end, we drank our drinks at full speed and make our excuses, we walked back to our hotel having a giggle at the expense of this over-confident, repetitive male but the thing is I couldn’t help but feel pissed off. I was annoyed at him for imposing himself and interrupting something that had been so fun. My girls live in NY and in the morning they would be gone and this stupid individual has had an impact on our last night. If we looked like we were having such a great time, why couldn't he just leave us to it???

It shouldn't be a big deal but it is! This type of thing happens all the time, it is not unusual for us ladies to be out catching up, when the evening turns into an assault course of avoiding and trying to lose unwanted males.

If there are just two of you, forget about it, if you wanted a heart to heart you may as well have stayed at home.

Two girlies enjoying each others company

Boys, before you ask: Why don't you just be honest? Tell them/him that your not interested in them talking/joining you?

The answer is: It doesn't work. The honest approach may give a quicker end to this scenario but half the time it draws more negativity then its worth.

"Stuck up cows!"
"Frigid Bitches!"

Not a desirable outcome either way...

Here are some hints for you boys. How to tell whether the ladies you are interrupting are interested in speaking with you:

If you ask them to come and join you and your mate and the ladies say no: Not interested

If ladies are in deeply, focused conversation, that doesn't involve lots of searching of the room or direct contact with your gorgeous self: Not interested

If you and your mates have used the lack of table space as an excuse to sit at a ladies table and the ladies say its fine for you to sit and quickly turn back to their conversation: Not interested

If you impose yourself on a group of gals who are to polite to tell you to piss off and the conversation immediately dries up: Not interested

If a lady walks by and you make a comment or touch her bum/back and she looks at you with utter distain: Not interested

You see the pattern? It is really easy if you just watch and listen. It is time effective too, why waste your time on a lady who can't even see you when there may be someone else in the room who wants your attention?