Here is my question. A girl (I know, they always start out that way) and I have become very good Twitter friends over the past half year. We've talked about everything from work, to our dreams and even the dates we've been on. We also flirt a little, with the occasional sexual innuendo, but that's part of what makes me me. We both know we will never meet in real life as we live on different continents and that's fine. But now one of the guys she's been dating, she is now getting serious with and is moving in with him. I'm really very happy for her, but he has no idea she is on Twitter. She is now feeling guilty about our online "friendship". Okay, so maybe it was a little more than just flirting... we were both having harmless fun. She wants to completely sever ties, almost to the point of committing Twittercide! I think she is crazy. I think we can remain friends but she thinks it would be detrimental to her new relationship.
Anonymous Male, US
Sounds to me like this tweeter of yours is simply trying to protect her new man and is being considerate to his feelings.
Let’s do a spot of verstehen (a German word for understanding- putting yourself in someone else's shoes).
This boyfriend is at his ladies house on her computer when he notices that her twitter account has been left open. Warning warning... What twitter account? Weird. So, he breaks the relationship trust code (see: should you stalk your loved one) and decides to have a sneaky peak at her profile, sniggering at her witty remarks and social networking, cute. Now, a quick look through messages... Oh mon dieu, what is this?? Numbers and numbers of messages from another gent, spanning over six months... He now spends hours rifling through a bustling chain of flirtatious conversations and sees that his girl ain't exclusively his... Sigh.
Stepping out if his shoes... And back to the question
The ongoing contact that you two had, would have held the following factors:
-Anticipation of next contact
-Positive feelings derived by someone else's interest
All of these are very similar traits to actual relationships, what was going on between you was providing some romance and a sense of not being completely alone, whilst single. As you said you both knew that you were never going to meet, so what you had was a bit of harmless fun. However, a harming factor has just infringed your tweeting romance: the boyfriend.
I can actually really relate to this lass as I am a romantic and I enjoy the passing of words and sharing of dreams. I also value relationships and have an overwhelming need to always be open. it seems that she has formed an attachment with you and now that she has met someone who exists in solid form, she chooses not to jeopardise it.
Her reaction seems slightly dramatic and panicked but she obviously wants a fresh start and wants to concentrate on being fully in her relationship, conversations with you that may quickly slip into sexual banter will not help! Also, if she has shared information on her man with you and let you into her private life, she may feel guilty.
Sexy talk with stranger + Shared current relationship intimacies = Guilty conscious
Note: Give it a couple of months for the house moving to settle in and she will probably be tweeting all over you again... Like old times!