Sorry? I Can’t Hear You!

Huh'
What
I can't hear you
Could you say that again?
Please...

Welcome to my world... A place that often sounds fuzzy, quiet and entails a lot of guessing and lip reading.

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I CAN'T HEAR YOU

Because I am not decked out with a hearing aid, people often have difficulty grasping the fact that unless they speak UP I am not going to hear them. This hearing loss has been going on for a while, first noticed about 10 years ago.

Because of a mystery illness that I was plagued with, starting 2 years prior to the loss, I swept the hearing under the carpet.

It is one thing to say "I am sick but I don't know what it is", but another to add "oh and I can't hear you"... Not wanting to get a rep as a hypochondriac verging on nut job I decided to tackle one thing at a time.

3 years ago, I finally got my diagnosis for the previous ailment, this was quickly sorted and before I knew it I hopped on a plane to NY ignoring my increasing deafness.

Back in the UK and armed with the NHS I have been able to SLLOOOWWWWLLLLLYYYYYY start getting to grips with the whys and the what's of my dear ears.

What's going on?

Ha, well I don't fully know the answer to this and I can not remember the names of the possible diagnoses as they are long medical words, but what I do know is this:

I have 40-50% hearing loss in each ear

The reason for this is one of two things:

1. Fossilised bones in my ears that stop sound from travelling as it should. To fix this I can have an operation that will take out the non-moving bone(s) and replace it (them) with prosthetic one(s). This op has a high success rate... Phew! The other treatment option is a hearing aid.

2. Congenital Abnormalities... Ughhhhh. This could be linked to my brother who was born completely death in one ear. Also, kidney problems and ears are linked... Woah, who'd have thought it? Operating on congenital abnormalities can be dangerous and chances of hearing loss are high... Not fun AT ALL. So, the treatment for this is a hearing aid.

You’re so vain

You're so vain, no Carly; I'm so vain. The thought of a hearing aid REALLY bothers me. I apologise if this is an insensitive statement, but it's the truth. I really don't want to rock out in one of these.

I understand that nowadays they are small and apparently no one will see them. But, Really?!

Maybe I am just in shock (as this was only confirmed 2 days ago) but I am scared that I will feel different about myself or people will see me differently.

If it is a hearing aid, a hearing aid it will be. I will rep alongside my other hard-of-hearing buddies. After all it is better to hear and follow what the world has to say, than to guess.