Rude Boy

Its not big, its not clever, its not significant and its not necessary.

London

The Old Queens Head, Essex Road - Last Saturday Soir

I'm walking up the narrow stairwell, destination; the ladies.

A slip of a gent is standing at the top, yapping and yelping into his phone, cockney this cockney that.

He interrupts his conversation to yell upon me:

"You look amazing in those leggings"

I reply with a friendly:

"Thanks"

To which he responds:

"Whore"

Come on rude boy, boy... Can you get it up... Come here rude boy, boy... Is you big enough... Take it, take it

(The Offending Leggings)

Bayonne

Fêtes de Bayonne - 3 Weeks Ago

A night out at the Fêtes de Bayonne avec my sis, in a crazy busy environment. Over one millions peeps spilling out of a teeny tiny town. I don't really excel in crowds so was feeling a little vulnerable with all the drunken men dying to get some festival love. I have never found the basques to be a very Gentlemanly bunch so wasn't too surprise when within the first 5 minutes of arrival a man took advantage of the crowded setting to run his fingers up and down my back. But, then he started pinching me dead on the spine... Ouch! This was followed with him grabbing onto my bra strap and trying his very best to undo it.

Why would he do this?

I was a 29 year old girl, I didn't expect this kind of treatment... Où est le respect??

I ended up having to run, pushing myself through the crowd to keep my bra intact.

Tonight, I'mma let you be the captain. Tonight I'mma let you do your thing

20 mins later...

We get cornered by a group of men while we wait to get served, they seem OK. Except for one vile giant who keeps grabbing me round the waist and making fun of me in every capacity...

First it's my T-shirt being tucked into my jeans, he finds this apparent faux-pas hilarious.

Then it's my Grandma's trainers that I am rocking out in. OK so they are unbranded and over 20 years old, but, they're trainers for god's sake. Would Nike Air whatdoyoucallit's be that much cooler?

He hates me because of my T-shirt and trainers and won't stop. Each time he grabs me, it is a tighter and less friendly clench.

Then he calls me and my sister "Puta's"... In fact he chants it.

There it is again, the whore word only in Spanish this time.

What you wa-wa-want... Give it to me baby... Like boom, boom, boom

(This continued throughout the night, different actions and words, common denominator: Rude Boys.)

Leicester

Olives Bar, Queens Road - Last Thursday

Having a quiet drink with my girl Erin when a couple of boys we knew from school come over to say Hi. A friend that we don't know approaches, reeking of bad attitude...

"Who are you then"
"How old are you"

We tell him, he starts laughing at us... "No you ain't..." Blah blah, seemingly annoyed at us for being older than the age he would have offered us. He thinks we are lying. We don't care.

Another friend of theirs approaches

Dives in by mimicking whatever it is I am saying to my friend, adding a final ray of negativity to the table.

"Tonight, I'mma get a little crazy... Get a little crazy, baby..."